Up and moving...

     It's been just about a month since my last post, I admit I have had plenty of time to write but just felt there was nothing compelling to blog about. I have been slowly healing all the while thanking God that the surgery was a success and I have gained back normal feeling in my legs. The hardest part now is dealing with the spasms in my legs as the nerves heal and go into overdrive to put it in simple terms. I have been enjoying the ability to go out on the good days. The bad days I just chill out at home enjoying the time spent in the company of my family. The Dr. has been very pleased with my progress and I am only required to wear my Spinalpak during the day which has made sleeping much more comfortable as I don't have to re-position the control unit every time I switch positions. I will be going for X-rays after the beginning of the new year and my next Dr.'s visit is mid January. I am finally starting to enjoy the time off I am being forced to endure so going back to work is going to be a big adjustment but I anticipate that change coming in January.

     For now I am enjoying the change of seasons and the recent snow fall. It has been a great source of exercise for me as I walk behind my power walker which just happens to throw snow too!

     The one thing I will miss (even more than hunting season) is going sledding with the kids this year. I hope we get lots more snow so we can go to some of our favorite hills but till there is more Alex was happy with conquering the hills in the local mall parking lot!

     Going back in time a bit during the week of Thanksgiving my niece April came for a visit from Florida. I normally put aside a day to spend at the range whenever one of the kids come to visit but due to my limited mobility and the fog at my gun club we settled on setting up a small range in the back yard so she could prove her marksmanship  (or should I say markswoman.) Like most of the members of my family she proved to have great aim and made her uncle Charlie proud.

The rest of my adventures until today have been going grocery shopping or browsing the stores for Christmas present ideas. I have become an expert window shopper but still end up spending all our money whenever I am surrounded by food

Today Ariel and I went and picked up my Uncle Richard who I always enjoy being around even though he doesn't always find my practical jokes as funny as I do!  We went out for lunch together after he cooked me one of his famous banana breads and afterwords Ariel showed us how to fix what seemed like impossible issues with the computer with a couple clicks of the mouse. It was a great day and spending time with my Uncle always brings up happy thoughts and memories of my dad. While I am an adult now (and I use the term adult very loosely of course) its nice being able to have conversations with my uncle while still feeling like I am his Turkey, the nickname he gave me when I was still knee high to a grasshopper.

I was raised never to wear a hat in the house but Uncle Rich allows it now and seeing that it is his house we decided to take a second picture with our hats to try and reduce the glare! 

     Christmas is right around the corner and I know we will be busy with running around and visiting friends and family but I hope between now and then to post again. If for some reason life keeps me from doing so I want to take this chance to wish all my readers a Very Merry Christmas. 

2 Weeks Later and My Transformation into Mr. Electric

It has been just over 2 weeks since my surgery and while I still have a long way to go I am feeling positive about my recovery process so far. After my post last week things got rough for a couple days when I started experiencing some major swelling around my spine, swelling which is totally normal and expected unfortunately nobody ever mentioned it to me or Rebecca. Friday morning I started worrying about the intensity of the pain so without any prodding I called the Surgeons office and they asked me to immediately come in so they could make sure nothing serious was wrong. The Dr. was happy with my mobility and as soon as he lifted my shirt  he could see the swelling and recommended strapping an ice pack on while taking a cocktail of anti-inflammatory medications.

Saturday afternoon came around and I was feeling better after 24 hours of icing my back and taking the medication he recommended but started to worry when I realized I wasn't going to make it through the weekend with the pain management medication he had me taking. Rebecca called in and spoke with the on call nurse who informed us we were out of luck until Monday but confirmed I could take the pain medication I was using prior to my surgery without any ill effects.

With my pain and swelling under control my outlook on life improved as well and after a great Sunday morning and afternoon spent with Rebecca's parents I finally was able to let Alex shoot his pumpkin that he carved last month. It has become a tradition to shred our carvings once they start to break down and it breaks them up nicely for the chickens to pick at when we are done! This year with me in the hospital the pumpkins had passed their prime but Alex stashed his on the deck hoping he would get a chance once I was home and mobile. I decided it was time to upgrade him from a .410 to a 12 gauge and he handled it like a champ. After everyone left I decided I wanted to venture out into the world of retail for a little while Sunday evening.It was nice to get out of the house for a little while although I will admit I am still not use to sitting in the passenger seat and miss driving.

Monday was spent recovering from all the walking around I did the night before. The morning was spent hanging out on the couch with Seth who came over to visit despite the fact he should be resting as well. Monday afternoon I went for a stroll into the lower part of the property and picked out a nice rock maple that I could use for crafts to keep me busy in the upcoming week.

Tuesday I ended up staying in bed all morning because I had moved more the past two days then I had since the surgery. I slept great Monday night which normally is considered a good thing but not waking up for pain medications made the morning a rough one when I did finally wake up. I lounged all day and once again had a visitor which helped break up the monotony of the day. Tony hung out for a couple hours which was really nice because the last time I saw him was the day after my surgery and I was still out of it and I'm sure it wasn't very enjoyable to be around me!

Today is Wednesday and once again I lounged around in bed all morning until I had to get ready for my doctors appointment. I wasn't really sure what to expect because when they called Monday afternoon I figured I had to go so there was no reason to ask questions, I would know what they wanted to do to me when I got there which would be soon enough. All I was able to tell Rebecca after hanging up was that they wanted to to something with me that would encourage bone growth. She just smiled and shook her head, I guess she doesn't appreciate surprises as much as I do!

When I arrived at the Dr's office today we were greeted by a very nice young woman who informed me that I was there to be fitted with a "Biomet Spinalpak" which is a non-invasive spine fusion stimulation system. Once again I was being fitted with a machine that would apply an electrical current to my body, something which in my line of work is avoided at all times - seriously who willingly gets electrocuted?  I realize that I am over reacting and the current applied is very low and not even strong enough to be felt and hey, if it helps me heal, I'm all for it.

After a full explanation of the equipment it was time to apply it to my back. Thankfully Rebecca was there to pay attention and she will be a huge asset when it comes time to replace the electrodes on my back! I am sure I will become accustomed to this little machine attached to my body 24 hours a day but right now I find myself focusing on what a pain in the butt it is going to be sleeping with wires attached to my body and leads going from my back to the control pack, I just pray I don't strangle myself by accident after all we have gone through to get me better! I know I will figure it out and by this time next week I won't even realize I'm wearing it but till then I will feel like an experiment to turn me into some sort of super hero or even worse like a villain. Come to think of it I could be the cool version of Mr. Electric not like the weenie that kids who watched Shark Boy and Lava Girl are thinking of!

My next planned appointment is just before Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for and look forward to the appointment after that when I will get x-rays and finally see what my spine looks like now. Until then I may not be able to see it but I know my spine feels better than it did November 3rd!

One Week and Counting

     It has been just over a week since my surgery was performed and I am surprised at how well I am felling. I have started to wean myself off of the pain medicine because I don't need the constant high doses like I did a week ago. The most important medicine I am taking right now is to prevent muscle spasm's and I have especially learned to appreciate the anti-inflammatory benefits of Tylenol.

     My incisions are healing well and I am able to go without dressings on them now. Thankfully I am able to sit upright much easier and my mobility has increased greatly since I arrived home last Thursday. I am still under the "BLT" restrictions which are NO Bending, Lifting or Twisting. Due to this restriction I am basically stuck to sitting in my recliner or laying in bed. Once an hour I get up and walk around the house to prevent blood clots and to continue building up the muscles in my legs and healing the ones in my lower back that were cut through during the procedure.

     To be honest I didn't think I would be up and walking around a week after my surgery. I knew they would have me up and moving the day after the surgery but I am feeling like I could spend a day walking around the mall window shopping  not just laps around the house. The pain I have is more of a bruised bone feeling which I guess is to be expected due to the trauma my spine endured having the disks removed, spacers inserted and vertebrata fused. The swelling around my spine causes some sciatica down my left leg which tends to feel like a constant leg cramp down the back of my thigh and calf. I hope that this will eventually go away but even if it doesn't I am grateful that all the other pain I had been experiencing since my accident seems to be gone. I no longer have the constant numbness or pins and needle feeling in my legs and my feet feel normal.

     I am still required to wear an elastic girdle for a couple more weeks but even when I am taking a breather from it I can still stand tall and upright. My follow up appointment with the surgeon isn't until 11/26/13 and until then I am home bound as they don't want me traveling in a vehicle until my appointment.

     The next 13 days are going to be tough as I am not the kind of person who likes to sit around doing nothing but I'm sure I will keep myself busy with driving Rebecca and the kids crazy and before we all know it I will be getting Thanksgiving Lunch ready and welcoming our closest family into the house for a celebration that there will be plenty to be Thankful for.

Ready to fly the coop!

Home Sweet Home

     It's now Thursday evening, 11/07/13 and I am home from the hospital. I can honestly say I am a little sad to be leaving the hospital just because the care and attention I received was better than a 5 star hotel. Rebecca picked up a walker for me to use until I am comfortable getting up without assistance.

     I pretty much came home and crawled into bed to get some uninterrupted sleep. I was bombarded with cuddling partners but the only one who wouldn't accidentally push me off the bed was Gabriel so for the time being I let him stay.

     For the first time in months I got a full nights sleep which was great in one aspect but horrible in another.You see I am on a 4 hour rotation for my multiple medications and went way longer than 4 hours between doses and let me tell you I suddenly realized how much trauma my body went through during the operation. I am an emotional kind of guy so I am no ashamed to say I cried until the medicine started working again. Even though I was in pain I still tried to have a sense of humor so when Rebecca asked me what was wrong I told her I felt like I was in an automobile accident!

     Later Friday afternoon I decided I wanted to get up and move around. With the help of my physical therapy training I was able to get up and out of bed with my walker and most importantly without causing more pain. My abdomen is bloated but with the adjustable girdle they gave me I am able to keep the swelling to a minimum most of the time. With the help of my wife / private nurse I finally got to take a shower and change the dressings on my incisions once again. I took pictures of them for comparison throughout the healing process but I won't post them here because some may find it too graphic. 

Now that I was clean, mobile and well medicated Rebecca made a spreadsheet that I could use to keep track of what medicine I took, how many and at what time. This way I wouldn't miss a dose or even worse double up on something that could cause respiratory issues. The nice thing about having this chart we knew when to set my alarms so I could wake up before I was due to eliminate any future occurrences of being in a lot of pain when it could be prevented.

     With the help of my amazing wife, my sweet walker, the medication spread sheet, and my two awesome children I have been able to get through the weekend without any major setbacks. It is now Monday 11/11/13 and I am just trying to maintain the pain throughout the day and keep my mind occupied with writing, reading, movies and hanging out with my amazing family. I am praying that the next 2 weeks go by quickly so that I will get approval to travel in a vehicle which will allow me to go out and about even if it's just for a trip to the store once in awhile. One thing that is for sure the past week has gone better than I could have ever expected and I believe that everyone's prayers on my behalf have been the biggest contributing factor, so "thank you" to everyone who has kept me in their thoughts and prayers since my accident until now. 

Tuesday's gone...

     The new room was very peaceful and despite the regular visits from the nurses to check my vitals I got a lot of much needed sleep. I awoke early and went for my normal stroll checking out the recently renovated maternity wing. The fact that they just reopened it put my mind at ease about infection because everything was so clean and new.

     I went back to my room and ordered a light breakfast with Oatmeal, fruit and juice. Not long after finishing my cousin Phyllis stopped by with a goodie bag of homemade treats! It was fun hanging out with her and all the joking around helped me forget about the intensity of the pain I was beginning to feel. I think we had so much fun because we both share the same sense of humor as do so many of my crazy family members!

   

Homemade Goodies - I also got some mini candy bars too!

     Phyllis left when the physicians assistant showed up to check my dressings and incisions. He asked me how I was feeling and once again told me how surprised everyone was that I was doing so well considering everything my body had gone through Monday. He checked my abdomen incision first before having me sit on the edge of the bed to check on the multiple incisions on my lower back. Over the past couple days they were emptying the 2 drains inserted into my back and measuring how much fluid was collected. After he removed the dressings he cleaned my back with a medical wipe and informed me he thought I was ready to have the drains removed. My body may have been ready but in no way was I ready for what was about to happen. I heard him say he was going to be taking out my drains but didn't understand that he was doing it at this present moment until I began to feel an indescribable burning  which caused my stomach to perform flip flops like never before. I swear the used the longest drains possible in my, otherwise time just stood still resulting in an extended period of torture. I requested we take a moment between drains so that I could gather my self together, drink a nice cup of Ginger Ale and brace for the next round. The removal of the second drain was the exact same experience as the first. The strangest feeling was just after the drain is removed and the air rushes into the small openings in my back left by the drain tubes.

     A short time after the drains were removed and my dressings applied I found I was able to move around much easier and didn't have to carry them in my hand while walking about. Once again there was talk of sending me home later in the day and for some reason the idea of going home just didn't feel quite right. Growing up with an Italian family I learned at an early age comfort food makes everything seem better so I ordered breakfast for lunch before drifting off to sleep again. Rebecca and the kids stopped by for a visit before computer class as did Rebecca's father. While they were there I expressed my concerns to them and they agreed that I should stay if I wasn't ready to go home.Their visit was short but they all planned on coming back after dinner. I needed to gather my thoughts together so I went for another walk around both wings of the 2nd floor. It was nice to get some exercise but I found just the short walks left me drained.

              I ordered a light dinner because I was starting to feel very run down and more like I had expected I would feel after the surgery. It took a lot more effort to move and I constantly had the chills. After dinner Rebecca's parents came by for a visit and Rebecca and the kids returned after their class was over. I enjoyed the company and the new room was much bigger which allowed for everyone to have a seat and remain comfortable.

     During the visit the nurse came in and took my vitals and noticed I was running a low grade fever. Now I knew why I was feeling run down and constantly had the chills even though I had cranked the thermostat to 80 degrees! My fever was constant throughout the night and ended up spiking over 102 degrees in the middle of the night. Around 04:00 my fever broke and I think I lost a couple pounds in sweat when it did!
Looking back I am glad I made the decision to stay another night because if I had gone home Rebecca would have been taking me to the ER when my fever spiked without a doubt!

     I called the nurse and requested they change my sheets and assist me with washing up before putting on some clean clothes. The first thing they did was take my temperature and everyone was relieved to see it was back to 98.6 degrees. Once my bed and my body were freshened up I went for a walk then took a nice nap.

     I stayed in bed until 09:00 which is when the ladies from physical therapy showed up to assist me with how to properly get out of bed once I was home and to verify I was able to tackle a flight of stairs without issues, once we were done with the PT session I felt confident I would be going home! I returned to my room and met with the physicians assistant who confirmed I could go home later in the day if I was comfortable doing so. While I was blessed with some amazing nurses, aides and students in training I was ready to go home! I called Rebecca and let her know she would need to pick me up later in the day and the second leg of my journey would begin.

Home Sweet Home!

Day Two - Walking on Sunshine

     It is officially Tuesday and I have been in the hospital 24 hours. I was doing my best to sleep but it seemed every time I would drift off into peaceful slumber someone was knocking on my door to check my vitals, empty the drains in my back or give me the necessary medicine. I felt good this morning and the nurses recommended that I start going for walks around the hospital wing.

     It was during one of these early morning walks that a nurse in scrubs walked by me. As we were passing each other she paused a moment to look at me. She took a couple more steps before turning around and stating my name in question form. I confirmed that I was Charles Aquilino Wearne and which point she seemed confused. She asked me if I was the Charles that had surgery on my spine Monday morning, I confirmed I was that person. Her entire face lit up with the biggest smile I have ever seen in a hospital. She informed me that she was one of the nurses in the operating room during my procedure and was in shock that I was not only in good spirits but that I was already up and about.

     I walked back to my room and ordered breakfast and was once again amazed at how delicious the food was. Trust me when I say I have been to plenty of restaurants/diners whose food was nowhere near as good as my hospital food!

2 Texas Sized French Toast, 3 Strips of Bacon, 3 Scrambled Eggs, a Fruit Cup and several juices

     I think for the first time I can remember my appetite was bigger than Alex's. I finished everything on my plate, yes the garnish too! I brushed my teeth and settled into my bed for a little snooze, it had been a productive morning and it's only 08:00. I awoke around 09:30 and to my surprise Tony stopped in for a visit on the way to his follow up appointment from his surgery. As he was leaving the nurse came in for our every other hour routine as she finished up Mr. Percoski stopped by to visit as well. Physically I was feeling fairly good which I admit was partially due to being constantly medicated. Mentally I was feeling great, its awesome how something as simple as someone stopping my to wish me well was so encouraging and made me feel so much better both physically and mentally.

     My Orthopaedic surgeon came in to check on me and explained what he did and didn't do during my procedure and said I was a great patient and everything went smoothly with him and  the Cardiovascular surgeon who performed the displacement of my organs and major vessels so they could get to my spine. He was happy to see me in good spirits and  like most everyone surprised to see how well I was moving around.

     The rest of Tuesday was fairly quiet until after dinner time. For lunch I ordered the Buffalo Chicken Sliders as well as the Chicken Parmigiana sliders! Rebecca woke up with one of her debilitating migraine headaches so her and the kids weren't able to visit until after dinner.

Chicken Sliders, Prune Juice and Angel Food Cake

     Seth and Sara made a trip up to the hospital to pay me a visit today as well. They brought a big pumpkin pie which we immediately sliced and devoured. They hug out for quite a while we we talked about anything and everything. I was surprised that they were able to stay so long knowing that Seth was still in a lot of pain from his surgery the week before. While being out of commission is never enjoyable it is refreshing to have someone with a similar injury at the same time because we have been able to encourage each other through the difficulties we are both experiencing. I have had an amazing outpouring of support and prayer from so many people some of which I have never met before. I can't help but give Glory to God for how well everything has gone so far and the urgency of getting repaired before the new year.  


          Throughout the day I would go on jaunts around the 2nd floor of the hospital all the while obsessing about having a healthy BM. The first of two physicians assistance was very surprised at how well I was doing and actually looked into sending me home. I was surprised that she would even consider this as an option and initially I was excited about it but it didn't take long for reality to set in and I prayed that the doctor would deny the request. Later that afternoon they informed me that my surgeon said I needed to stay at least one more day. Not only did they recorded everything I drank throughout the day they also measured how much urine I passed. They were confident with my data and removed the IV leaving only the catheter in my hand just in case I needed to get connected up again.  The pain I was experiencing was much less than I expected but as the day progressed I felt like I was hitting a brick wall.

     Rebecca finally recovered from her migraine and brought the kids up to visit  me. With all the medicine they were pumping into my body I found myself not wanting to eat dinner so I ordered stuff to share with the family. They all concurred that the food served to me was better than some of the area restaurants. Eventually the room would be filled with visitors when my cousin Kimberly and Debbie showed up with fresh cannoli's from La Fiorentia! During the visit I continued to feel exhausted all the while feeling blessed with all outpouring of love expressed to me by friends and family. I ended up giving in to the effects of the medicine and closed my eyes to get some much needed sleep once everyone left. I also had a BM during the evening which not only reduced the gas bloat I was experiencing but also boosted my morale about taking the medicine, I am a regular schedule type of person and was struggling with the side effect of the pain medication. Some times it's the little things!

     As I drifted in and out of a light sleep I noticed that the wing of the hospital I was staying in started getting very busy and noisy. Around 23:00 hours the nurse and evening aide woke me up to move me to another wing of the hospital where I would would be more comfortable and it would be much quieter allowing me to rest between nurse visits.

A selfie while they were packing up my room

     In no time at all my belongings were packed up and I was getting wheeled to the maternity wing! The part about this which made me smile was listening to the multiple nurses and aide's arguing over moving me. While I tend to be a baby when I'm under the weather everyone that was providing the care were proclaiming me the best patients they had. I was pleasantly surprised with the room they moved me into, it was like a high end hotel room with all kinds of amenities, I would get a better look around in the morning right now I was ready for some healing sleep.Wednesday was going to be a challenging day.

And thus my journey begins...

The morning of my surgery, I was finally over the freaked out stage of my decision to move forward with surgery and was more than ready to get it done. I awoke early took a shower, kissed my children goodbye and headed off to Rockville General Hospital for what I was praying would become a positive change in my condition. I arrived to be prepped at the surgery facility and was surprised to learn that almost every surgery scheduled that day was cancelled but mine.I was sent to change into my hospital gown and mark the area on my body where the surgery was to be performed. When the nurse (Mary) saw my abdomen there was immediate panic, you see the nurse at my general practitioner recommended that I shave my body hair off before I arrived so that I wouldn't get hacked up in the operating room by a dry razor shave. Turns out this was greatly frowned upon because the 2 days of growth caused razor burn / rash. I was informed that I would have to wait until all the medical staff saw it and agreed to proceed otherwise they would have to reschedule my surgery.

After being oogled by multiple Dr.s I was given the okay to proceed. I was a little frustrated by the whole ordeal but at the same time I felt like my situation was the highlight of the day as I became the subject of conversation to everyone who made their way through the pre-op room. Moral of the story is don't shave anything before going in for surgery, they use fancy little clippers now no more razors!

 I made note of the pre-op nurse earlier, her name is Mary and her presence made me feel even more at ease. You see she was the nurse who prepped me for my gall bladder surgery 2 years ago. Why would I remember her you may ask - well as a married man there are very few women that would demand I get naked and my wife wouldn't get upset when I did! As soon as the approval was given to proceed everything went into fast forward. I began my normal nervous chatter and mentioned that I was sad I wouldn't be getting a blueberry muffin when I came out of the recovery room. When I had my gall bladder out I was so hungry despite not being a fan of muffins I was presented with one and 2 cups of cranberry juice. Now these aren't your average every day muffins they get them daily from a local bakery and they are amazing. I was then given the chance to kiss my beautiful wife and quickly found myself being moved from the gurney onto the operating table. The Operating room was as cold as I remembered from my last surgery and to keep myself calm I made small talk with the different people in the room which included a few medical students. I felt the heat of the anesthesia injection from the IV in my hand and quickly lost consciousness. It seemed like only moments later that my eyes opened and nurse Kim was standing at the end of my bed smiling back at me, the scariest part of my journey so far was over!

I don't remember what we said but a short time later Kim was wheeling me towards my room. My surgery started around 08:00 and Rebecca was notified they were finishing my sutures just before 14:00. I remember looking at the clock and it was just after 15:00 and my wife was walking toward me with a look of relief. Nurse Kim seemed energized by my excitement. I sat in awe of being able to feel my feet and toes without numbness or pain which had me giddy with joy! It was at this point she handed me a care package from Nurse Mary in Same Day Surgery  - not one but three beautiful Blueberry Muffins! It may not seem like much but my experience at this hospital has always had moments like these, moments that just seem to lighten the mood time and time again.

Now you have to understand I was initially informed that it could be a day or two before I would be able to eat solid food because of the displacement of my stomach and bowels. A step that was necessary to access my spine from the front but is known to put these organs into a coma like state. I was in and out of consciousness until around 17:00 when I asked if I could empty my bladder. The nurse came into the room and assisted me onto my feet and let me go into the bathroom with a urinal. I was surprised that they sent me to my room without a catheter and was eager to show them that it wouldn't be necessary!  I felt like a superstar - most people don't recall the praise from their parents when they finally became potty trained but I imagine it was much like the experience of handing over my almost filled bottle like a big boy!

The nurse helped me back to my bed and after taking some vitals and listening to my stomach informed me that I no longer needed to wait and handed me the room service menu to order my first meal of the stay. Rebecca went over the menu multiple times with me and despite her efforts to help me make a decision I was more interested with sleeping and her voice was like that of an angel lulling me to sleep. I finally sat up enough to make a decision, Chicken Stir Fry, a Cup of Green Jello, a Fresh Fruit and Cottage Cheese salad and 2 prune juice and 2 cranberry juice cups to wash it all down. 

Menu Cover

Breakfast options  - served all day!

Lunch/Dinner meals

Grill / Deli / Pizza/Pasta Bar / Sides and Beverages

I would love to tell you that I finished everything on my plate but I didn't. I ate a few strips of chicken and most of the carrots, I finished the fruit and cottage cheese and the jello without any regrets and sipped my juice cups till they ran dry. It was a good day and I was thankful for how mobile I was and gracious to have my legs and feet feeling normal again.

Rebecca sat by my side till the end of visiting hours and went home knowing that I was in good hands and though I would be in for some new types of pain never experienced before I felt better than I had in over 3 months. I would go through the night with constant attention from the nurses, aides and students and despite just meeting many of them I could tell that they sincerely cared about me and my well being. I was feeling like Spongebob Squarepants and quietly I kept repeating to myself -  "I'm ready" - ready to start the new day.

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An unexpected journey

     I am obviously too tall to be a Hobbit but much like Bilbo I began my very own unexpected journey on July 27th. I had just started my week of vacation and decided to stop over my cousin's house which is just over a mile from mine. I was only moments into my trip when a young man lost control of his vehicle and hit me head on at a high rate of speed. I was in my pickup truck and once I was able to get the drivers door open I went to check on the 4 young men who were in the other vehicle. Surprisingly three of them were able to get out and walk around but the one in the right rear passenger seat was entrapped.

     My adrenalin allowed me to jump into action and do what I could to keep everyone calm, It was almost 20 minutes from the time of the 911 call until the first of the responders showed up and I had climbed into the car to assist the entrapped passenger during the wait. One of the most frustrating things I was dealing with was the fact that I could see my house this whole time. Once I exited the other vehicle I was no longer focused on taking care of someone else and my body seemed to just shut down.

This was the vehicle that hit me, he also bounced off a tree so there was damage all the way around.

     Rebecca had walked down to the accident scene to check on me and was there when they loaded me into the ambulance. My blood pressure was going through the roof and I was having serious difficulty breathing along with wrist, foot and back pain. EMS didn't realize how much damage was done to the truck so I was never really a concern till I was on my hands and knees asking for help. The truck did hold up quite well but it wasn't until Rebecca took me to get my belongings out of the truck that I was able to see the entire front clip was pushed back between 6 - 12 inches. I can only imagine what would have happened if I was in our small sedan that night.

     I spent the night in the hospital while they medicated, poked, prodded, scanned and took X-Rays of my body. I found myself getting upset that I would spend my week of vacation in pain and that most of our plans (including our anniversary plans) would end up being cancelled. The highlight of the first week was that we finally got our new floors installed which made the house feel warm and cozy.

     I expected to be sore but after a week had passed I was still experiencing major pain in my lower back all the way down to my toes. It was at this point that I started going to all the Dr.s to try and figure out what was wrong. I had CT Scans, X-Rays and an MRI performed and my primary physician recommended me to an area Orthopedic/Neurosurgeon. The surgeon had me try different treatments which included Injections into my spine and several weeks of physical therapy but they failed to relieve the pain and numbness I was having in my back and legs. I continued to have more issues with involuntary spasms and during my follow up appointment we made the decision to proceed with surgery.

     The plan was to fuse multiple vertebrae but the surgeon decided he would work on one disk at a time and assess the others as he moved forward. The surgery was scheduled for Monday, November 4th, 2013 and if it is a success it will be the best Birthday present I have ever received.  I spent 4 days in the hospital recovering from the surgery and came home yesterday. During my research and conversations I have found it's very hard to find anyone who has good things about back surgery. It is my desire to document my recovery from start to finish and hopefully my story will be a beacon of hope for anyone that ends up going on their own unexpected journey.

 

Family is Everything.

     I normally write about happy feelings so that I don't give the impression that I want people to feel sorry for me but the past several weeks have weighed heavy on me so I have decided to use this as my outlet. Since my accident 2 months ago I have come to realize that the only people in life is family. I was discouraged that so many people that I considered friends and have selflessly done so much for have suddenly become non-existent in my life. I have never expected anything in return for my friendship but a true friendship is a two way road, much like a marriage if one person is always the one one giving and the other is only there to receive the relationship won't last. While I felt so many have let me down I have been reminded over and over that blood is truly thicker than water. My family has rallied around me and constantly lifted me up along with the few choice friends who have reminded me that true friendship is to be cherished. 

     Everyone knows not only how much I love Rebecca but also how lucky I am to have a woman of her caliber as my wife. She has been there to encourage me when i'm feeling down, she has fought for me with the administrators to get me scheduled for my doctor appointments sooner than later, she has handled the majority of the paperwork for my accident claims along with running our household. I don't know of many women who could manage as much as she does and still end each day smiling. My children have taken on my responsibilities around the property  which has been a big burden off my mind and more importantly, my back!
     

    
      The past several weeks were also burdened with worry about my mother. It's no secret that I was a mommy's boy growing up, with nine years between me and my brother I had my parents all to myself growing up for the most part. Just before my accident my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer which seemed to worry everyone but my mother. Right up to the night before her surgery she encouraged everyone around her and remained strong and determined. Her surgery went well and she wasted no time getting home from the hospital and even enjoyed a day at the Big E with Roger, Angelina and Carlos! The Dr.s had to remove some lymph nodes but the tests results came back clean and hopefully my mother will be around for a long, long time.

     So while I am still dealing with my injuries from the accident I have hope that the Dr's will get me back on my feet and most importantly back to work. I will continue to struggle with the knowledge that unless something miraculous happens I will miss hunting season for the first time but hopefully Uncle Seth will be healthy enough to take the kids out so they don't have to miss the season and hopefully provide us with some meat for the freezer that we so desperately depend on every year.  While I am sad that so many I thought of as friends have become nothing more than acquaintances I have learned that family is forever and while we may not have it all together, together we have it all!

     Thank you to the friends and family who have visited, called and provided me with daily encouragement. Thank you Roger for taking such good care of my Mom - I am proud to say you are family. Thank you Rebecca for making me the richest man in the world and taking care of me no matter how frustrating I can be! I continue to make the best of each day and hopefully the Dr's will find a way to get be back to being as normal as I ever was because the medicine seems to make things worse.

In sickness and in health...

In what seemed like a blink of an eye another year has come and gone. I have to say Rebecca is the one who seems to be stuck keeping the promise of loving me during sickness most of the time! The past several weeks have been one full of trials but she has cared for and pampered me every step of the way. I am feeling a little guilty that I wasn't able to make today extra special but I did manage to get out of the house for a little while today for some fun and a nice dinner.

I would have never imagined that we would eventually get married the moment this picture was taken the day we graduated from high school. Boy did our plans for life change after that night!

 

I can still remember what you wore on our first date and thank God every day that you finally gave me a chance to win your heart. I love each and every moment we have together and hope you know that even after all these years I am still enamoured with everything about you. I am proud to proclaim to the world that you are my wife and I am blessed to declare that you are the mother of my children. I can't imagine going through a single day without you in my life. You have spoiled me by making me the richest man in the world because I have your love all to myself. Thank you Rebecca for loving me and for saying "I do" 18 years ago. 

I look forward to the next 18 years and pray that in health outweighs the in sickness! Thank you for being one of the strongest cornerstones in the foundation of our family - I couldn't do it without you! I love you as much today as I did yesterday and will continue to love you tomorrow and the next day until our lives both end. Happy Anniversary My Love. XOXOXO

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it!

Of course as my mother will attest, I was a perfect child so I know my kids will turn out just fine! The scary part is that my children are growing up and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. It seems like only yesterday that I was rushing Rebecca to the hospital for a night of long labor which would result in us being blessed with the most amazing little girl I could ever have hoped for. Yet here I sit 15 years later reflecting on all the memories we have already made together in a rather short period of time.

Ariel ,you are my one and only daughter and are more than I could have ever hoped for. Being my first born I can honestly say we have learned (a lot) together over the past 15 years. I have watched you grow from my cute little girl into a beautiful woman.

With that said be sure not to leave your youth behind too soon. Enjoy this time in your life and remember that you have a family that loves and cares about you. Resist the push from society for you to rush into adulthood, these are the years that you will hone your skills and master responsibilities but that doesn't mean that you can't have fun and enjoy your teenage years while doing so! I pray that no matter what you encounter in life during the next several years that you know you can lean on me and your mother - while it may be hard to believe it wasn't that long ago we were your age and understand life's challenges! I will continue to pray for you every day and while we may not always see eye-to-eye I hope you know I will always have your best interests in mind. I love you and am very grateful that we share so many likes and interests and the memories of your first trout, your first deer and everything in between bring a smile to my face more often than you could ever imagine. While you may be growing up I hope you know that you will always be my little girl!
Happy Birthday
XOXOXOXOX
Daddy

 Never too old to be silly!

 15 Candles! 

Fun in the sun with Lexi and Alex

Steak and Chicken and Shrimp - Oh My!

Grammy's homemade Ice Cream Cake - Yummy!

A Fathers Dream Come True

I grew up with a father who loved to spend time with with his kids. While my brother and sister grew up enjoying some of our fathers hobbies and outdoor activities I cherished every moment spend in the woods learning the in's and out's of hunting with him which is one of the reasons I love to hunt to this day. On March  7, 2010 Ariel began her own journey of becoming an accomplished hunter and I posted here that she was "The Apple of My Eye"

Fast forward to today and I have the pleasure to tell you that one of my greatest dreams has come true. Today my son Alex completed his Connecticut Conservation Education and Firearms Safety Program. He spent two days in a classroom interacting with 5 separate instructors learning about firearm safety, ethics, local game species, hunting, trapping and much, much more. I was proud to sit at the back of the room watching him ask questions, be the first to raise his hand to answer questions directed to the class and the thing that made me happiest was when he was called upon to demonstrate safe gun handling and knew before being told by the instructors how to properly handle the weapon which resulted in him being the demonstrator at the front of the class for the remainder of the lesson.

At the end of the class today he took his final exam which he passed with a great score then moved out to the shooting range. While the range part was more to show good safety practices he also out shot most of the class which was made up of adults with the exception of Alex and one teenager. Needless to say, much like the day Ariel completed her class I have been walking on cloud nine!

Alex's main request has been to learn how to turkey hunt, something which I have been successful at in the past but by no means am an expert on teaching. I decided that while I would like to get him a shotgun of his own for turkey hunting much like Ariel I wanted him to have a rifle that one day he could call his own. I was blessed to have a family rifle passed down to me by Rebecca's Grandfather so in keeping with tradition I decided that I would pass down the Winchester .30-30 that I got from my father many years ago. It has been a good gun and I have taken many deer with it over the past 20 years and I look forward to watching him take many more with it too!

Over the years I have enjoyed the time spent in the woods, not only the thrill of a hunt but also the peaceful times observing God's amazing creation. While the time I had to spend with my dad in the woods was cut short I now have the joy of spending time with my own children in the woods teaching them all the knowledge I have learned over the years and continue to learn each and every time I go out. The is no doubt that I have been blessed in life and knowing that a cherished tradition is being passed on to another generation is a beautiful reminder. 

I love both my children and look forward to spending time with each of them one on one and together as a group at the range practicing with our firearms, in the woods observing nature, harvesting game for our food and every moment in-between! 

Congratulations Alex on a job well done. I love you and your sister very much and I am very proud of you both. 

As you can all imagine I can't wait for hunting season to open later this year!

The Mighty Mothers In My Life

Today all over the country people celebrated their mothers and the women who we all hold dear to our hearts. I am lucky in that I have many people who I was able to celebrate which included my Mother, my Wife, my Mother-in-Law and Rebecca's Grandmother. There are other women that I hold dear to my heart as adopted mothers from my childhood and recognize the fact that I was cared for and watched over by so many people helped me become the person I am today.

First there is my Mother. The fact that she gave birth to me is more than enough to celebrate her! She didn't stop at birth though, she gave me an amazing childhood full of love and countless memories. I watched her go through good times and bad while maintaining her focus on her family rather than herself. Thank you Mom for showing me love and encouraging me to be a Godly Man, husband and Father! I am blessed to be your son and have you as my Mother.

Next is Mom Rathbun. She may not have given birth to me but she has taken me into her family and accepted me not just as her daughter's husband but as her son. You too have encouraged me to be a Godly man and I am proud to be part of your family. While legally you are my Mother-In-Law I will never think of you like that - I am blessed to call you Mom.

Third is Nina. I am grateful that you are part of our lives. I am thankful that I am part of your family and that my children have a relationship with their Great Grandmother and we are able to celebrate all of our special occasions together with you. 

Last but most important to me is Rebecca. You are not only my wife but you are the mother of our children. I truly feel like the luckiest man on earth because you are part of my life every moment of every day! You have stood by me through thick and thin, you have encouraged me with all my endeavours. You have picked me up when I am feeling down, you have prayed for me when it would have been easier to run away. You are a pillar to me and the kids. I can't imagine going through life without you nor would I ever want to! Thank you for growing with me and loving me. You are an amazing encouragement to me and the kids both spiritually and in daily life. I look forward to celebrating many more years with you and reflecting on how much you influence those around you especially me! Thank you for being an Amazing Wife and Mother! I Love You! 

Happy Mothers Day to You All!