And thus my journey begins...

The morning of my surgery, I was finally over the freaked out stage of my decision to move forward with surgery and was more than ready to get it done. I awoke early took a shower, kissed my children goodbye and headed off to Rockville General Hospital for what I was praying would become a positive change in my condition. I arrived to be prepped at the surgery facility and was surprised to learn that almost every surgery scheduled that day was cancelled but mine.I was sent to change into my hospital gown and mark the area on my body where the surgery was to be performed. When the nurse (Mary) saw my abdomen there was immediate panic, you see the nurse at my general practitioner recommended that I shave my body hair off before I arrived so that I wouldn't get hacked up in the operating room by a dry razor shave. Turns out this was greatly frowned upon because the 2 days of growth caused razor burn / rash. I was informed that I would have to wait until all the medical staff saw it and agreed to proceed otherwise they would have to reschedule my surgery.

After being oogled by multiple Dr.s I was given the okay to proceed. I was a little frustrated by the whole ordeal but at the same time I felt like my situation was the highlight of the day as I became the subject of conversation to everyone who made their way through the pre-op room. Moral of the story is don't shave anything before going in for surgery, they use fancy little clippers now no more razors!

 I made note of the pre-op nurse earlier, her name is Mary and her presence made me feel even more at ease. You see she was the nurse who prepped me for my gall bladder surgery 2 years ago. Why would I remember her you may ask - well as a married man there are very few women that would demand I get naked and my wife wouldn't get upset when I did! As soon as the approval was given to proceed everything went into fast forward. I began my normal nervous chatter and mentioned that I was sad I wouldn't be getting a blueberry muffin when I came out of the recovery room. When I had my gall bladder out I was so hungry despite not being a fan of muffins I was presented with one and 2 cups of cranberry juice. Now these aren't your average every day muffins they get them daily from a local bakery and they are amazing. I was then given the chance to kiss my beautiful wife and quickly found myself being moved from the gurney onto the operating table. The Operating room was as cold as I remembered from my last surgery and to keep myself calm I made small talk with the different people in the room which included a few medical students. I felt the heat of the anesthesia injection from the IV in my hand and quickly lost consciousness. It seemed like only moments later that my eyes opened and nurse Kim was standing at the end of my bed smiling back at me, the scariest part of my journey so far was over!

I don't remember what we said but a short time later Kim was wheeling me towards my room. My surgery started around 08:00 and Rebecca was notified they were finishing my sutures just before 14:00. I remember looking at the clock and it was just after 15:00 and my wife was walking toward me with a look of relief. Nurse Kim seemed energized by my excitement. I sat in awe of being able to feel my feet and toes without numbness or pain which had me giddy with joy! It was at this point she handed me a care package from Nurse Mary in Same Day Surgery  - not one but three beautiful Blueberry Muffins! It may not seem like much but my experience at this hospital has always had moments like these, moments that just seem to lighten the mood time and time again.

Now you have to understand I was initially informed that it could be a day or two before I would be able to eat solid food because of the displacement of my stomach and bowels. A step that was necessary to access my spine from the front but is known to put these organs into a coma like state. I was in and out of consciousness until around 17:00 when I asked if I could empty my bladder. The nurse came into the room and assisted me onto my feet and let me go into the bathroom with a urinal. I was surprised that they sent me to my room without a catheter and was eager to show them that it wouldn't be necessary!  I felt like a superstar - most people don't recall the praise from their parents when they finally became potty trained but I imagine it was much like the experience of handing over my almost filled bottle like a big boy!

The nurse helped me back to my bed and after taking some vitals and listening to my stomach informed me that I no longer needed to wait and handed me the room service menu to order my first meal of the stay. Rebecca went over the menu multiple times with me and despite her efforts to help me make a decision I was more interested with sleeping and her voice was like that of an angel lulling me to sleep. I finally sat up enough to make a decision, Chicken Stir Fry, a Cup of Green Jello, a Fresh Fruit and Cottage Cheese salad and 2 prune juice and 2 cranberry juice cups to wash it all down. 

Menu Cover

Breakfast options  - served all day!

Lunch/Dinner meals

Grill / Deli / Pizza/Pasta Bar / Sides and Beverages

I would love to tell you that I finished everything on my plate but I didn't. I ate a few strips of chicken and most of the carrots, I finished the fruit and cottage cheese and the jello without any regrets and sipped my juice cups till they ran dry. It was a good day and I was thankful for how mobile I was and gracious to have my legs and feet feeling normal again.

Rebecca sat by my side till the end of visiting hours and went home knowing that I was in good hands and though I would be in for some new types of pain never experienced before I felt better than I had in over 3 months. I would go through the night with constant attention from the nurses, aides and students and despite just meeting many of them I could tell that they sincerely cared about me and my well being. I was feeling like Spongebob Squarepants and quietly I kept repeating to myself -  "I'm ready" - ready to start the new day.

.

An unexpected journey

     I am obviously too tall to be a Hobbit but much like Bilbo I began my very own unexpected journey on July 27th. I had just started my week of vacation and decided to stop over my cousin's house which is just over a mile from mine. I was only moments into my trip when a young man lost control of his vehicle and hit me head on at a high rate of speed. I was in my pickup truck and once I was able to get the drivers door open I went to check on the 4 young men who were in the other vehicle. Surprisingly three of them were able to get out and walk around but the one in the right rear passenger seat was entrapped.

     My adrenalin allowed me to jump into action and do what I could to keep everyone calm, It was almost 20 minutes from the time of the 911 call until the first of the responders showed up and I had climbed into the car to assist the entrapped passenger during the wait. One of the most frustrating things I was dealing with was the fact that I could see my house this whole time. Once I exited the other vehicle I was no longer focused on taking care of someone else and my body seemed to just shut down.

This was the vehicle that hit me, he also bounced off a tree so there was damage all the way around.

     Rebecca had walked down to the accident scene to check on me and was there when they loaded me into the ambulance. My blood pressure was going through the roof and I was having serious difficulty breathing along with wrist, foot and back pain. EMS didn't realize how much damage was done to the truck so I was never really a concern till I was on my hands and knees asking for help. The truck did hold up quite well but it wasn't until Rebecca took me to get my belongings out of the truck that I was able to see the entire front clip was pushed back between 6 - 12 inches. I can only imagine what would have happened if I was in our small sedan that night.

     I spent the night in the hospital while they medicated, poked, prodded, scanned and took X-Rays of my body. I found myself getting upset that I would spend my week of vacation in pain and that most of our plans (including our anniversary plans) would end up being cancelled. The highlight of the first week was that we finally got our new floors installed which made the house feel warm and cozy.

     I expected to be sore but after a week had passed I was still experiencing major pain in my lower back all the way down to my toes. It was at this point that I started going to all the Dr.s to try and figure out what was wrong. I had CT Scans, X-Rays and an MRI performed and my primary physician recommended me to an area Orthopedic/Neurosurgeon. The surgeon had me try different treatments which included Injections into my spine and several weeks of physical therapy but they failed to relieve the pain and numbness I was having in my back and legs. I continued to have more issues with involuntary spasms and during my follow up appointment we made the decision to proceed with surgery.

     The plan was to fuse multiple vertebrae but the surgeon decided he would work on one disk at a time and assess the others as he moved forward. The surgery was scheduled for Monday, November 4th, 2013 and if it is a success it will be the best Birthday present I have ever received.  I spent 4 days in the hospital recovering from the surgery and came home yesterday. During my research and conversations I have found it's very hard to find anyone who has good things about back surgery. It is my desire to document my recovery from start to finish and hopefully my story will be a beacon of hope for anyone that ends up going on their own unexpected journey.

 

Family is Everything.

     I normally write about happy feelings so that I don't give the impression that I want people to feel sorry for me but the past several weeks have weighed heavy on me so I have decided to use this as my outlet. Since my accident 2 months ago I have come to realize that the only people in life is family. I was discouraged that so many people that I considered friends and have selflessly done so much for have suddenly become non-existent in my life. I have never expected anything in return for my friendship but a true friendship is a two way road, much like a marriage if one person is always the one one giving and the other is only there to receive the relationship won't last. While I felt so many have let me down I have been reminded over and over that blood is truly thicker than water. My family has rallied around me and constantly lifted me up along with the few choice friends who have reminded me that true friendship is to be cherished. 

     Everyone knows not only how much I love Rebecca but also how lucky I am to have a woman of her caliber as my wife. She has been there to encourage me when i'm feeling down, she has fought for me with the administrators to get me scheduled for my doctor appointments sooner than later, she has handled the majority of the paperwork for my accident claims along with running our household. I don't know of many women who could manage as much as she does and still end each day smiling. My children have taken on my responsibilities around the property  which has been a big burden off my mind and more importantly, my back!
     

    
      The past several weeks were also burdened with worry about my mother. It's no secret that I was a mommy's boy growing up, with nine years between me and my brother I had my parents all to myself growing up for the most part. Just before my accident my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer which seemed to worry everyone but my mother. Right up to the night before her surgery she encouraged everyone around her and remained strong and determined. Her surgery went well and she wasted no time getting home from the hospital and even enjoyed a day at the Big E with Roger, Angelina and Carlos! The Dr.s had to remove some lymph nodes but the tests results came back clean and hopefully my mother will be around for a long, long time.

     So while I am still dealing with my injuries from the accident I have hope that the Dr's will get me back on my feet and most importantly back to work. I will continue to struggle with the knowledge that unless something miraculous happens I will miss hunting season for the first time but hopefully Uncle Seth will be healthy enough to take the kids out so they don't have to miss the season and hopefully provide us with some meat for the freezer that we so desperately depend on every year.  While I am sad that so many I thought of as friends have become nothing more than acquaintances I have learned that family is forever and while we may not have it all together, together we have it all!

     Thank you to the friends and family who have visited, called and provided me with daily encouragement. Thank you Roger for taking such good care of my Mom - I am proud to say you are family. Thank you Rebecca for making me the richest man in the world and taking care of me no matter how frustrating I can be! I continue to make the best of each day and hopefully the Dr's will find a way to get be back to being as normal as I ever was because the medicine seems to make things worse.

In sickness and in health...

In what seemed like a blink of an eye another year has come and gone. I have to say Rebecca is the one who seems to be stuck keeping the promise of loving me during sickness most of the time! The past several weeks have been one full of trials but she has cared for and pampered me every step of the way. I am feeling a little guilty that I wasn't able to make today extra special but I did manage to get out of the house for a little while today for some fun and a nice dinner.

I would have never imagined that we would eventually get married the moment this picture was taken the day we graduated from high school. Boy did our plans for life change after that night!

 

I can still remember what you wore on our first date and thank God every day that you finally gave me a chance to win your heart. I love each and every moment we have together and hope you know that even after all these years I am still enamoured with everything about you. I am proud to proclaim to the world that you are my wife and I am blessed to declare that you are the mother of my children. I can't imagine going through a single day without you in my life. You have spoiled me by making me the richest man in the world because I have your love all to myself. Thank you Rebecca for loving me and for saying "I do" 18 years ago. 

I look forward to the next 18 years and pray that in health outweighs the in sickness! Thank you for being one of the strongest cornerstones in the foundation of our family - I couldn't do it without you! I love you as much today as I did yesterday and will continue to love you tomorrow and the next day until our lives both end. Happy Anniversary My Love. XOXOXO

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it!

Of course as my mother will attest, I was a perfect child so I know my kids will turn out just fine! The scary part is that my children are growing up and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. It seems like only yesterday that I was rushing Rebecca to the hospital for a night of long labor which would result in us being blessed with the most amazing little girl I could ever have hoped for. Yet here I sit 15 years later reflecting on all the memories we have already made together in a rather short period of time.

Ariel ,you are my one and only daughter and are more than I could have ever hoped for. Being my first born I can honestly say we have learned (a lot) together over the past 15 years. I have watched you grow from my cute little girl into a beautiful woman.

With that said be sure not to leave your youth behind too soon. Enjoy this time in your life and remember that you have a family that loves and cares about you. Resist the push from society for you to rush into adulthood, these are the years that you will hone your skills and master responsibilities but that doesn't mean that you can't have fun and enjoy your teenage years while doing so! I pray that no matter what you encounter in life during the next several years that you know you can lean on me and your mother - while it may be hard to believe it wasn't that long ago we were your age and understand life's challenges! I will continue to pray for you every day and while we may not always see eye-to-eye I hope you know I will always have your best interests in mind. I love you and am very grateful that we share so many likes and interests and the memories of your first trout, your first deer and everything in between bring a smile to my face more often than you could ever imagine. While you may be growing up I hope you know that you will always be my little girl!
Happy Birthday
XOXOXOXOX
Daddy

 Never too old to be silly!

 15 Candles! 

Fun in the sun with Lexi and Alex

Steak and Chicken and Shrimp - Oh My!

Grammy's homemade Ice Cream Cake - Yummy!

A Fathers Dream Come True

I grew up with a father who loved to spend time with with his kids. While my brother and sister grew up enjoying some of our fathers hobbies and outdoor activities I cherished every moment spend in the woods learning the in's and out's of hunting with him which is one of the reasons I love to hunt to this day. On March  7, 2010 Ariel began her own journey of becoming an accomplished hunter and I posted here that she was "The Apple of My Eye"

Fast forward to today and I have the pleasure to tell you that one of my greatest dreams has come true. Today my son Alex completed his Connecticut Conservation Education and Firearms Safety Program. He spent two days in a classroom interacting with 5 separate instructors learning about firearm safety, ethics, local game species, hunting, trapping and much, much more. I was proud to sit at the back of the room watching him ask questions, be the first to raise his hand to answer questions directed to the class and the thing that made me happiest was when he was called upon to demonstrate safe gun handling and knew before being told by the instructors how to properly handle the weapon which resulted in him being the demonstrator at the front of the class for the remainder of the lesson.

At the end of the class today he took his final exam which he passed with a great score then moved out to the shooting range. While the range part was more to show good safety practices he also out shot most of the class which was made up of adults with the exception of Alex and one teenager. Needless to say, much like the day Ariel completed her class I have been walking on cloud nine!

Alex's main request has been to learn how to turkey hunt, something which I have been successful at in the past but by no means am an expert on teaching. I decided that while I would like to get him a shotgun of his own for turkey hunting much like Ariel I wanted him to have a rifle that one day he could call his own. I was blessed to have a family rifle passed down to me by Rebecca's Grandfather so in keeping with tradition I decided that I would pass down the Winchester .30-30 that I got from my father many years ago. It has been a good gun and I have taken many deer with it over the past 20 years and I look forward to watching him take many more with it too!

Over the years I have enjoyed the time spent in the woods, not only the thrill of a hunt but also the peaceful times observing God's amazing creation. While the time I had to spend with my dad in the woods was cut short I now have the joy of spending time with my own children in the woods teaching them all the knowledge I have learned over the years and continue to learn each and every time I go out. The is no doubt that I have been blessed in life and knowing that a cherished tradition is being passed on to another generation is a beautiful reminder. 

I love both my children and look forward to spending time with each of them one on one and together as a group at the range practicing with our firearms, in the woods observing nature, harvesting game for our food and every moment in-between! 

Congratulations Alex on a job well done. I love you and your sister very much and I am very proud of you both. 

As you can all imagine I can't wait for hunting season to open later this year!

The Mighty Mothers In My Life

Today all over the country people celebrated their mothers and the women who we all hold dear to our hearts. I am lucky in that I have many people who I was able to celebrate which included my Mother, my Wife, my Mother-in-Law and Rebecca's Grandmother. There are other women that I hold dear to my heart as adopted mothers from my childhood and recognize the fact that I was cared for and watched over by so many people helped me become the person I am today.

First there is my Mother. The fact that she gave birth to me is more than enough to celebrate her! She didn't stop at birth though, she gave me an amazing childhood full of love and countless memories. I watched her go through good times and bad while maintaining her focus on her family rather than herself. Thank you Mom for showing me love and encouraging me to be a Godly Man, husband and Father! I am blessed to be your son and have you as my Mother.

Next is Mom Rathbun. She may not have given birth to me but she has taken me into her family and accepted me not just as her daughter's husband but as her son. You too have encouraged me to be a Godly man and I am proud to be part of your family. While legally you are my Mother-In-Law I will never think of you like that - I am blessed to call you Mom.

Third is Nina. I am grateful that you are part of our lives. I am thankful that I am part of your family and that my children have a relationship with their Great Grandmother and we are able to celebrate all of our special occasions together with you. 

Last but most important to me is Rebecca. You are not only my wife but you are the mother of our children. I truly feel like the luckiest man on earth because you are part of my life every moment of every day! You have stood by me through thick and thin, you have encouraged me with all my endeavours. You have picked me up when I am feeling down, you have prayed for me when it would have been easier to run away. You are a pillar to me and the kids. I can't imagine going through life without you nor would I ever want to! Thank you for growing with me and loving me. You are an amazing encouragement to me and the kids both spiritually and in daily life. I look forward to celebrating many more years with you and reflecting on how much you influence those around you especially me! Thank you for being an Amazing Wife and Mother! I Love You! 

Happy Mothers Day to You All!

Family Time

The new year has been busy for me, especially the past 2 months. While I have had a moment here and there to blog my daddy taught me;  "If you didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Between the people I deal with day in and day out and the lack of appreciation at work I have remained silent while enjoying every precious moment I could with my family! Last week Ariel finished her qualification for the shooting sports award she has been working towards achiving. When she was done we spent the remainder of the day at the range shooting together as a family, despite my initial desire to hoard all the ammunition till  the stores start maintaining their inventories!

Today we went on a field trip with a few of the members from Venture Crew .22 to the Springfield Armory. Alex and I really enjoyed the afternoon walking around the museum learning and admiring all the beautiful firearms on display. 

Memories never fade, tears still fall and Daffodils still remind me of you.

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While many will be celebrating the good deeds of St. Patrick today, I am celebrating the life of another man - my father. The past several weeks I have found my mind swimming with memories of him and the good times we shared together. The man truly had flair - he entered the world on St. Patrick’s Day and departed it on St. Valentine’s Day. I am sad because I miss him and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. During times like these I find myself fighting my emotions in order to get through the day so I have decided to use this as an outlet. Although I miss my dad, I must acknowledge that I have been blessed with two wonderful men in my life who I respect and love; both Chuck and Roger are there as a father for me. I would like to take this chance to celebrate in memory of his birthday, the life of the man who taught me among many other things how to hunt and fish, how to drive a car, and the importance of making time for family. As I look forward to my meal of Corned beef with potatoes, carrots and cabbage I will have a smile on my face as I remember my Fathers disapproval of my brother and I smothering our cabbage with tomato ketchup. I will reflect on my memories of days spent in the woods hunting, days off from school working with my dad in the big red tractor trailer truck, afternoons spent drowning worms on the banks of a fast moving brook, Sunday driving lessons, listening to the baseball game on the radio while playing in the back yard, digging up wild daffodils and day lily’s on the side of the road for Mom's flower gardens, Sunday lunches together as a family, the memories go on and on. I am thankful to have the memories that I do and to have had the privilege of being my father’s son. Remember the reality is we are only here for a season and it is up to us to determine how we spend that season. He may not be with us in the flesh but he is here in my heart and in my memories so for no other reason other than that of good memories… I miss you and love you, Happy Birthday Dad.

The tribute tattoo for my Dad that I got last year even though he would have kicked my butt for getting it!

As a young man his journey begins...

It seems like only yesterday that I was laying in bed watching Rebecca sleeping and counting the seconds between her contractions that she didn't even realize she was having. I can hardly believe that 12 years have passed already and that my baby boy has entered into the next chapter of his life as a young man.

As do all parents, I remember the days my children were born with much detail. I have been truly blessed with both my kids and while they know they are loved each and every day of the year it is on their birthdays that I take the time to let the whole world know how proud I am of them. Today happens to be that day for a young man named Alexander Aquilino Wearne. His name was chosen long before he ever existed but I never could have imagined the boy he is now. I am proud of my son and look forward to watching him grow into a man and starting a family of his own some day. I pray for him every day that he will follow the straight and narrow path while nourishing his own relationship with God. I hope that I am always the best dad in the world through his eyes and that he learns from my mistakes so he doesn't have to repeat them. I love you Alexander - Happy 12th Birthday!

Twelve years have flown by since that picture was taken and Alex has grown strong and tall and along with that he requires more nourishment then he has in years past. As we always do the Birthday Boy (or Girl) gets to choose their birthday meal and Alex requested his favorite "Man Meal" for our family celebration. I specify family celebration because his actual party is Sunday and he chose his other favorite meal for that one which I will post next week. As for tonight's meal it was a meal fit for a king.

Beef Loin grilled medium rare with homemade mashed potatoes and steamed sugar snap peas! And for dinner was his birthday cake and much like his father Alex has a great love of cheesecake which his darling mother whipped up at  moments notice.

It's a good thing that Alex has been playing SkyRim because he almost needed to use a Dragonborn shout to blow out all those candles in one breath!

Of course before the cake I let him open the gifts from me and Rebecca because I was almost as excited to watch him open as he was to get them. The first gift was a set of BrickArms  which as you can see are accessories for his Lego collection.

Then came a 4 pack of magazines for his Crosman M4-177  that he received this past year for Christmas

 What good is a magazine if there is no ammo to put in it? Squirrels beware this is the real deal!

Now that he is fully outfitted for some plinking he opened the next package which will not only provide hours of entertainment it will hone his skill as a marksmen. Plus I can't wait to throw some lead at it too, as they say practice makes perfect!

This last gift was the biggest surprise because he never expected to get one despite looking at them while debating if it was worth spending his own hard earned money on.

If your unable to read the box it's a Red Dot sight for his gun. Below are some pictures of it once we mounted it.

Please notice that despite me not saying a word my 12 year old son is handling his firearm safer than some adults I have witnessed and I am very, very proud of him!

Of course when we were all done cleaning up we lit up the back yard so we could start sighting in the new scope and it didn't take long before the spinners where whirling!